In Ten Words...
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Buggroff, y'git. You just clicked on this because you're a bloody tart. I don't even know how you got here, since I'm not particularly active. I just hang around some times and have my existence acknowledged occasionally by people who greet me. Hmph. I bet you wouldn't know the first thing about me, yeah? Why, I reckon you'd say I was an insufferably rude bloke, and you'd be right! But that ain't the first thing 'bout me, 'cuz you see, the first thing 'bout me is that I'm an honest man. And I'll tell y'right now, the third thing 'bout me, of note, that is, is that I'm a gentle and loving soul. Yeh, that's right. Swear it by all that's dear to me in this life, I'm 'gainst conflict and the like. I do hope I didn't come across as argumentative, 'cos I ain't. Tain't really credible when one says that one is something or other, 'tis true, but s'all I got, y'ken. I absolutely hates whenever someone's itching to get their jimmies a'rustlin over some trivial how'now, yessir I do, 'cos it's fostering a lotta unnecessary grief! Ain't nobody need to be a stirring up troubles here now!