Comment #39246

Qazerowl
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Pseudo, I made this account in 2007, and visited nearly every day for four years. I played every one of your games, looked at every piece of art you posted, and I still listen to some of your music that I downloaded. I was a huge fan. Other stuff happened in my life, and you, coincidentally, didn't do much in the month following Mardek 3's release, so I eventually stopped coming to the site.
Today, I was looking for an RPG to play, and reminded myself about Mardek. Even if 4 wasn't done yet, I'd been several years since I played. I checked here, and started reading blog posts, to see what the status of 4 was, but also to see how you've been the past three to four years. I have come to a conclusion:

You need to leave your house. This is not a troll post, this is not complaining about games, this is not some kid saying he knows what's best for you. You can't boil people down to four letters, you can't stay inside forever, and you can't make a living as a game developer if severe depression makes it take 4 years to make a single game.

You need to go outside, make some friends, and get a job. YES, you have social anxiety, but staying inside forever isn't going to help that at all. Get a job at McDonalds flipping burgers two days a week. You will only have to talk to people a few times an hour, but at least you'll be talking to people. Go to a rec center or something and sign up for ANYTHING. At this point you don't need to make friends, you just need to not be a hermit.

Things aren't going to be better in the future if you never start fixing them. I don't want to seem to self-important, but if you want... not "advice", so much as a different "opinion" on what/how you should do, I'd be happy to give specific situations a review. Again, this feels egotistical, as you have a site full of people to talk to, but few of them are willing to take a harsher stance on this (it seems).

I hope you will not dismiss this as a toll post. I really did idol you for many years. But you need help. You yourself have said so, and only you can take the first step in helping yourself. Don't you want to be non-depressed again? I will be posting this message in various places. I'm willing to be banned to make sure you see this, because if you continue to sink deeper into depression, there's no point in anybody coming here anymore.
Brock
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This is exactly the kind of thing I hate reading. Someone loses faith, posts that Pseudo should 'go outside and get a life', and gives unwanted advice and otherwise. The thing that bothered me most about this comment in particular was the last sentence, which essentially stated 'if you can't get over it, people shouldn't come here.' That's just bad logic there.

I don't know why I'm commenting here other than to say, if you truly feel this way, then keep it to yourself. Nobody wants to hear this parroted over and over. It isn't helping.

Half the time the person posting says this, but has no idea what social anxiety and depression are actually 'like'... or if they do, they don't understand it in the right way. Depression isn't something you just 'get over'. You can't 'change yourself' so quickly, like you seem to suggest... it's illogical.

I've dealt with depression for years. Hell, I can say it dominated my life at some point. When someone hasn't gone through something like this, this is the kind of comment that is generated...

Anyway, I'm just throwing in my opinion. Take it for what you will, but I stand firm in this belief. I don't know why I bothered to comment here, again, other than to vent what I feel about such comments here. *sigh*

That's all I have to say.
Qazerowl
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Within the past month, Pseudo has posted several blog posts (on the Alora Fane site) where he basically says "my life is really bad". I remember him doing this occasionally *years* ago, so I can only assume he's been doing it every-so-often since I left. Maybe it's just my imagination, but he writes as if he is worse off now than he was 5 years ago.
I do not have social anxiety, but I do have depression. I understand how bad it is, and I am not saying that lightly.
Something has to change. Pseudo can't just spend the next 40 years doing what he's been doing for the last 4. And although it seems obvious that he'll "get better" before then, it isn't given. If, in the next 40 years, he feels to depressed or anxious to go outside and get a job every day, then he will be a 66 year old man who may have the record for "most miserable life". At some point, he needs to take that first step.
This was hard to accept for me when I was dealing with some similar (but less severe) problems. I blew it off as corny, "Disney Musical" level advice. But really, if you don't feel like going outside today, you probably won't do anything tomorrow. And if you couldn't muster up the strength to go by then, you probably aren't going to be able to anytime this week, or month. And if you're social anxiety has stopped you from making friends or getting a job all month, what makes you think it will magically get better anytime next year? Or the year after?
And if he hasn't made that step in the past few years, what makes you think he will make it on his own? What evidence do you have that Pseudo, left to his own devices, will overcome/cope with his problems?
LargoJoeSqueezle
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Pseudo doesn't need a job. He needs a girlfriend 😉