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Blog: Posts re MARDEK on Alora Fane!
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3 years ago
Pseudo, I made this account in 2007, and visited nearly every day for four years. I played every one of your games, looked at every piece of art you posted, and I still listen to some of your music that I downloaded. I was a huge fan. Other stuff happened in my life, and you, coincidentally, didn't do much in the month following Mardek 3's release, so I eventually stopped coming to the site.
Today, I was looking for an RPG to play, and reminded myself about Mardek. Even if 4 wasn't done yet, I'd been several years since I played. I checked here, and started reading blog posts, to see what the status of 4 was, but also to see how you've been the past three to four years. I have come to a conclusion:
You need to leave your house. This is not a troll post, this is not complaining about games, this is not some kid saying he knows what's best for you. You can't boil people down to four letters, you can't stay inside forever, and you can't make a living as a game developer if severe depression makes it take 4 years to make a single game.
You need to go outside, make some friends, and get a job. YES, you have social anxiety, but staying inside forever isn't going to help that at all. Get a job at McDonalds flipping burgers two days a week. You will only have to talk to people a few times an hour, but at least you'll be talking to people. Go to a rec center or something and sign up for ANYTHING. At this point you don't need to make friends, you just need to not be a hermit.
Things aren't going to be better in the future if you never start fixing them. I don't want to seem to self-important, but if you want... not "advice", so much as a different "opinion" on what/how you should do, I'd be happy to give specific situations a review. Again, this feels egotistical, as you have a site full of people to talk to, but few of them are willing to take a harsher stance on this (it seems).
I hope you will not dismiss this as a toll post. I really did idol you for many years. But you need help. You yourself have said so, and only you can take the first step in helping yourself. Don't you want to be non-depressed again? I will be posting this message in various places. I'm willing to be banned to make sure you see this, because if you continue to sink deeper into depression, there's no point in anybody coming here anymore.
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2 years ago
Great post Qazerowl! this is probably what pseudo needs not that he will heed it and not that he will not just ban you as a troll but I agree with your conclusion and wish someone who he may respect because they have followed him for awhile said it sooner. The true question is what is pseudo going to do once he sees this? I would prefer a blog on a programmer who works to find inspiration and has occasional anxiety attacks to a blog full of lots of arrows going nowhere and emotional downfalls.