13
ZurikiZuriki
  • 24
  • Male
  • United Kingdom United Kingdom
  • 347 comments
  • Joined 6 years ago
  • Last Visited 2 years ago
  • 60.240.XXX.XXX

Personality

MelancholicCholeric
Chaotic Neutral

Outlook

Heterosexual
Atheism, Antitheism
Progressive
Technical Support Advisor
Millionaire Slacker

Appearance

Human
No

Irregularities

33

In Ten Words...

Contact Info


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Send

on 4 Roots

18 Comments

Heiveldboy
0

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Considering that I at one point was diagnosed with depression and that I managed to get out of it, I feel the need to give some advice:
Find something and hold on unto that. It doesn't matter what it is, but make sure that you can either look forward to it or always get a small amount of happiness all the time.
I'm talking about silly things like buying or preparing your favorite food on specific dates or serious things like moving to a new house or redecorating your current house/appartment, if that's possible.
themiragechild
1

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New Watsky album, if you didn't know. It's his best.
Zuriki
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Yeah I downloaded it like 2 hours after it was released. ^-^
themiragechild
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themiragechild 23 United States PhlegmaticMelancholic INTP 9w1 90C
As did I! Pretty much my favorite thing from him thus far.
Zuriki
0

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Yeah I do really like it, Moral of the Story is probably my favorite track on the album as a whole, but Dent in the Moon is definitely my favorite beat! ~It's so funky!~
The Bart
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zur i' feel with you, im hated to on this site :( look up for mardekfan150 my other acc who got disliked to Hell :/ so i maked this new acc because I want to start a new chapter i want to start clean so' *why do i even type this? mja if you ' dont like my thread delete it then , k cya now
Emy
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Um... Are you aware that it's against the rules to make alternate accounts? I'm pretty sure that it results in a ban for at least one account...

And if you wanted to start clean, you could have just waited a month (or something like that) without making any comments. Then your orb would have just disappeared...
The Bart
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now you' guys say this :( but i' will try my best if you' understand this :) btw its not so easy i' have alot of problems now inrl, thats why im so miserable.
Emy
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Eh, I don't think you ever asked before...?

Also, red orbs don't mean that a person's hated... It just means that people had negative reactions to something they posted... That's not always the same as hate.

If you look on comment history, Zuriki actually has a fair amount of positive orbs anyways.
The Bart
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My life is so hard right now but i will do my best lets stop this confrontation now ok :)?
Seiryuu
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Hey, how have you been? Haven't seen anything from you lately.

Also, how'd you manage to get yourself a red orb? It was azure the last time I checked. :/
Zuriki
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I made A β Pseudolonewolf cry.

I've been pretty terrible actually, I just got off the phone crying to my Mother, and before that I booked an appointment at the Doctor's for depression. So that's that.

I vowed not to return to this site and that's why you've not seen me around. I don't do anything other than check the blog once a week now.
Seiryuu
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Ah, I see; sorry to hear that. Are you feeling better now? Doing things that are making you happy?
Zuriki
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Uh, not really. I've yet to see the Doctor and even then I might not be prescribed something that will aide me. I've mostly just been wasting time, not the best thing to do given that I have deadlines to meet and such, but I can't bring myself to do anything productive -- like a mental block.

I was kind of pissed off that people down voted the previous comment that I made, I don't understand their need to weigh in on how I feel. If I were asking for their opinions I would have wrote to them directly, or made a tumblr account featuring emo rock lyrics and other miscellany.
Seiryuu
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So what's it like being in the big blue box? :P

Anyway, I really do hope that you'll get through this slump in your life. I can't imagine what you're going through right now.
Zuriki
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I'm guessing "big blue box" is a metaphor for depression. It's unproductive and frustrating, not only for me, but for everyone else. I have a genuine desire to be productive but an unconscious unwillingness to actually *produce*. This leads people to regard me as being stubbornly lazy (which is hardly helpful).

I'm trying to find alternative ways to get around this lack of motivation, but quite frankly I'm down to these options:
1. Drugs like Ritalin (nickname: the study drug) that increase mental stimulation; this would require me to illegally acquire them, which is not a satisfying prospect
2. Somehow get personalised help in organising my work, and assisting me in working on it. I don't expect this to happen as I don't know of anybody capable of providing me this support, and my teachers are far too busy with their work to help.
Seiryuu
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Actually, the "big blue box" was a reference to the TARDIS in Doctor Who, cause you capitalized Doctor. :P

As for your dissonance in productivity, everybody goes through that (I'm very guilty of this). Are there any events going about in your community that you can volunteer at? I find doing things with a deadline tends to get some productive juices flowing.
Zuriki
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Even if there were events going down that I could take part in, I don't have the motivation to actually attend them. This isn't a matter of having nothing to do and no deadlines to meet, I definitely have lots of stuff I need to get through, but I'm psychologically incapable of motivating myself to do it.

I forgot to mention in my last reply that I was actually diagnosed with depression (exactly one week and 3 days ago today) and I have been prescribed anti-depressants for it. They're not taking any noticeable effect as of yet, except I might be experiencing some of the side effects but I'm not sure (dry mouth, headaches) it could just be regular old "back-to-school" sickness.

I intend to pursue therapy after I've finished college in a couple of months, but for now I hope that the drugs will provide me with the right conditions to get my work done before it's too late. It'll be cutting it close though.

There are other issues that affect my situation at the moment, specifically my family, about a year ago my Dad's girlfriend and her daughter moved in with us. For a time it was fine, but the past few months my relationship with everyone has been deteriorating rapidly. I'm fast growing exhausted of them and their persistent hyper-sensitivity and it's making me very agitated and puts me in a foul mood. Even as I was writing this my "step-sister" was pestering me about insignificant things, it's wearing me out and even small occurrences like that makes me want to throw things at her.

Currently, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, and the tunnel is fast coming to an end. If things don't pick up soon, I'm going to find myself in an even more difficult situation, and one that I have no plans for how to deal with.