In Ten Words...
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I'm a person who hates summaries. I don't think I'll be able to avoid attempting one, though! I guess the easy way to explain myself is an idealistic nerd with an open mind. I've been through a lot, but I've not let go of a strong sense of morals and a passionate way of life. Ultimately, though, I think there are a few archetypes which cover the basics about me: the roleplayer, the critic, the student, the friend, and the cynic.
The roleplayer is what I like to imagine inspires all the others, a sort of "default" identity I rely on. My imagination has always run wild, a mass of imaginary friends growing into a complex narrative, their stories and mythos growing more and more complex as I found myself increasingly rejected by peers and my local environment. I began to learn D&D when I was 10, and I started participating in literary RP when I was 12. My desire to roleplay was at first a completion of the "nerd" stereotype I'd adopted as a method of self-defense and identity amongst the violent and abusive world of southern Louisiana, but I quickly realized it as a way to not only utilize the imagination I'd cultivated but also as a way to understand different perspectives and identities. I have developed an increased sense of aesthetic which cultivated my critic, a desire to learn new things and new fields of knowledge to round out my repertoire, sought to connect with other roleplayers and operate in a way which is accepting of a wide range of friendships, and developed an intuition which rarely strays in its accuracy even if it often sides with the pessimistic.
The critic is both an artist and a judge. I seek to perform to the best of my ability in every aesthetic field; from my singing to my writing, I perform desperately seeking an ideal. At the same time, even in fields I am not capable of performing in, I have immersed myself in how to pick apart and analyze art and design of all types. I can embrace logic yet also feel my way through the various forms of expression. I understand that my opinion isn't necessarily correct, but I am always confident and honest in my assessments when I give them. If ever I would say "I don't know", I quickly remedy the hole in my expertise so that I might never have to answer that way a second time. In this way I have quickly made a reputation as a theory-crafter and judge in many fields.
To be a critic, one must be a student of all things. One cannot critique what one isn't familiar and up-to-date on. One cannot play a chef if one doesn't know culinary arts, a soldier if one doesn't know military tactics, or a woodcarver if one doesn't know the craft. In this way I constantly seek to expand my knowledge. While I might favor the fields of understanding humanity (anthropology, psychology, philosophy, sociology, literature, and the like), I am in no way unfamiliar with the basics in almost every other field. I watch TED Talks, read academic literature, and always search what I hear and do not know. I'm currently studying and researching anthropology. I'm about one year out from my undergraduate degree, though I plan to pursue my studies in a post-graduate environment as well. Currently my focus is deviant leisure subcultures and emotional energy generation as I study a phenomenal community that has become so appealing and hope-inspiring that I could not help but become a part of.
I have always been a social animal. Despite my very introvert tendencies, I overwhelmingly desire acceptance and social activity. For nineteen years I wanted nothing more than friends, especially those in real life. It has only in the last two years of my life I have felt true friendship and embraced a joy I did not think possible. Online, I have been luckier in quantity though not in quality, an observation I would be overjoyed to see become false in the future. As such, through my idealistic philosophy, various observations, and overwhelming empathic identity, I have sought to learn how to best embody as well as seek friendships that mean far more than the empty relationships often promoted by today's society.
Of course, I have run into some terrible conclusions along the way. My roleplaying characters have been driven to suicide while other players are confused as to why, I have seen the worst of reality played out far too often in and between the "best" characters, I have watched people online and in real life helplessly spiral into situations far beyond their control, and I have found optimism and faith lacking when trends and reasonable expectations provide far more accurate predictions of what will be. As such, I operate under working hypotheses, constantly testing and trying them and using these theories of interaction to guide my actions and advise others. Despite my cynical nature, however, I still maintain hope. I weigh the probabilities and gamble for the ideal often, preparing for the worst while playing for the best. Is it always beneficial? Of course not. But it's a strange roll of the dice no matter how you play it, and sometimes it's better to fail with good will against all odds than accept the easiest and most likely result of things as fate and live without will.
WHY "LORD KEFKA"?
I've gone by many names. RPing Maven, the Violet Critic, DJ White Boy, a few others for more obscure/risque/deviant interests, and, of course, my real name. Lord Kefka is simply yet another. Kefka represents one of the most intriguing villains to me. He is, by far, completely and utterly insane. However, there is an inherent truth and logic to what he says. This idea of "sanity in insanity" is one I have always loved, and a number of my favorite characters that have surprised be with brilliant revelations or turns of character have had such a theme. Tentianar Aclec-Nilam, Mercurus Sarbetz the Dashing, Lumnar, Mayra Vine-Hand... Plus, everyone has to admit that brushing the CE side of the alignment spectrum is fun every once in a while!
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