PseudolonewolfA β Pseudolonewolf
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  • United Kingdom United Kingdom
  • Joined 6 years ago
  • Last Visited 2 years ago
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4w5 5w4 9w1  SxSo
Neutral Good


Game Developer
Game Developer


173 cm/5' 8"
63 kg/138 lbs



In Ten Words...


Contact Info


About Me

I made this website.

I used to have a rather lengthy bio on the old site, and I'll write something here eventually, when I have the time.

  Spoiler for A List of my Favourite Games:


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11 Friends

133 Fans

on 119 Roots



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timtoborne 20 United States MelancholicPhlegmatic ENTP 512 186C
Pseudo, I know you'll probably never read this, but I wish I could have known you before you began to be bullied by your own guests.

The worlds you created within your games inspire me to think outside the norms of story telling. You are very talented, and I need you to acknowledge this fact.

I know you've moved on, but if you do read this post then perhaps you'll go a bit further, a few people and I feel as though we won't be able to move on with the next iteration of MARDEK because of the story you created in the original.

Make no mistake, I will play your first few new MARDEK games to completion before passing judgement, but I, and a few others need closure. Could you perhaps tell us, in writing or otherwise, how the classic MARDEK would've ended? ∞ Fig Hunter ∞ That's a link to the thread I posted here. Please, if you see this, please consider humouring our need for closure.

Regardless if you do or do not tell us, I thank you, for putting so much of your time and effort into these games that we, that I love. They are more than games now, they are like a testament to you, or at least that's how I see them. Thank you Pseudo, without you, I may never have found my love for story telling, art, and programming!

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Sorry for the double post but just glad to see Pseudo finally going out of his shell, at least what I see on the alora fane site. I'm rooting for you man. I know it's a scary world when you isolate yourself from everyone and go out into the world again.

I know exactly how you feel about wasting time and finally getting to where you are in life. You wonder that yeah now you see life differently in a positive way, but you still think oh why did i waste all those years.

Keep doing what you're doing. I hope you see this because this may sound dumb but what may be missing from your life is love. No drugs can compare to the feeling love gives someone. Yeah you can find your calling in life too but you should venture into finding that special someone. Good luck man

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Heyo Pseudo!!

It seems to me you are not truly passionate about making games since you tend to lack creativity, drive, postpone, etc. Why don't you find something else to do instead? Something that makes you happy you know.

One thing that I noticed is you spend too much time in your depressed state to get anything done, and I knew exactly how you felt man, lots of us have been there. I used to sulk around the house and ignore going out with friends because I was shy and scared of the world. I tried so hard to understand what was wrong, like I see you are with the whole personality 4 letter thing but that won't help you figure out what's wrong. You have to live life! Do the things you love that make you happy. Hang with friends. Find yourself a girl or guy, I don't judge haha. Spend time with family. Being social is terrifying to people like us, we're not all naturally outgoing and friendly...at first but it takes time and courage.

You have one life, trying to think your way out of depression won't help you, actions do. I don't care if your games never get finished, I care about people and helping them out. Drop making games if you're trying to make others happy, you should be making yourself happy. You spent all this time trying to think out of being depressed and it hasn't worked right? Go on an adventure to get out more, try new things, fall in love!

But it's all up to you man. Life's a crazy, fun, wild, amazing journey and you're spending it thinking too much. Have the courage to conquer your doubts, fears, demons because at this moment they control you and it's making you sad. Man up and kick their butt!

Best of luck to you

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Pseudo, I made this account in 2007, and visited nearly every day for four years. I played every one of your games, looked at every piece of art you posted, and I still listen to some of your music that I downloaded. I was a huge fan. Other stuff happened in my life, and you, coincidentally, didn't do much in the month following Mardek 3's release, so I eventually stopped coming to the site.
Today, I was looking for an RPG to play, and reminded myself about Mardek. Even if 4 wasn't done yet, I'd been several years since I played. I checked here, and started reading blog posts, to see what the status of 4 was, but also to see how you've been the past three to four years. I have come to a conclusion:

You need to leave your house. This is not a troll post, this is not complaining about games, this is not some kid saying he knows what's best for you. You can't boil people down to four letters, you can't stay inside forever, and you can't make a living as a game developer if severe depression makes it take 4 years to make a single game.

You need to go outside, make some friends, and get a job. YES, you have social anxiety, but staying inside forever isn't going to help that at all. Get a job at McDonalds flipping burgers two days a week. You will only have to talk to people a few times an hour, but at least you'll be talking to people. Go to a rec center or something and sign up for ANYTHING. At this point you don't need to make friends, you just need to not be a hermit.

Things aren't going to be better in the future if you never start fixing them. I don't want to seem to self-important, but if you want... not "advice", so much as a different "opinion" on what/how you should do, I'd be happy to give specific situations a review. Again, this feels egotistical, as you have a site full of people to talk to, but few of them are willing to take a harsher stance on this (it seems).

I hope you will not dismiss this as a toll post. I really did idol you for many years. But you need help. You yourself have said so, and only you can take the first step in helping yourself. Don't you want to be non-depressed again? I will be posting this message in various places. I'm willing to be banned to make sure you see this, because if you continue to sink deeper into depression, there's no point in anybody coming here anymore.

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This is exactly the kind of thing I hate reading. Someone loses faith, posts that Pseudo should 'go outside and get a life', and gives unwanted advice and otherwise. The thing that bothered me most about this comment in particular was the last sentence, which essentially stated 'if you can't get over it, people shouldn't come here.' That's just bad logic there.

I don't know why I'm commenting here other than to say, if you truly feel this way, then keep it to yourself. Nobody wants to hear this parroted over and over. It isn't helping.

Half the time the person posting says this, but has no idea what social anxiety and depression are actually 'like'... or if they do, they don't understand it in the right way. Depression isn't something you just 'get over'. You can't 'change yourself' so quickly, like you seem to suggest... it's illogical.

I've dealt with depression for years. Hell, I can say it dominated my life at some point. When someone hasn't gone through something like this, this is the kind of comment that is generated...

Anyway, I'm just throwing in my opinion. Take it for what you will, but I stand firm in this belief. I don't know why I bothered to comment here, again, other than to vent what I feel about such comments here. *sigh*

That's all I have to say.

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Within the past month, Pseudo has posted several blog posts (on the Alora Fane site) where he basically says "my life is really bad". I remember him doing this occasionally *years* ago, so I can only assume he's been doing it every-so-often since I left. Maybe it's just my imagination, but he writes as if he is worse off now than he was 5 years ago.
I do not have social anxiety, but I do have depression. I understand how bad it is, and I am not saying that lightly.
Something has to change. Pseudo can't just spend the next 40 years doing what he's been doing for the last 4. And although it seems obvious that he'll "get better" before then, it isn't given. If, in the next 40 years, he feels to depressed or anxious to go outside and get a job every day, then he will be a 66 year old man who may have the record for "most miserable life". At some point, he needs to take that first step.
This was hard to accept for me when I was dealing with some similar (but less severe) problems. I blew it off as corny, "Disney Musical" level advice. But really, if you don't feel like going outside today, you probably won't do anything tomorrow. And if you couldn't muster up the strength to go by then, you probably aren't going to be able to anytime this week, or month. And if you're social anxiety has stopped you from making friends or getting a job all month, what makes you think it will magically get better anytime next year? Or the year after?
And if he hasn't made that step in the past few years, what makes you think he will make it on his own? What evidence do you have that Pseudo, left to his own devices, will overcome/cope with his problems?

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Pseudo doesn't need a job. He needs a girlfriend 😉

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y8man 20 Philippines PhlegmaticMelancholic INFJ 998 7C
Pseudo, you don't have to be a negative what-if thinker.
Millions have played your games, especially MARDEK.
Millions have loved your work.
Don't let the few hundred trolls and "aggressive" people knock you down.
There are a MILLION people who wants to put you up.
We are happy whenever you present us your works, which are always interesting and actually fresh.
The imagination your mind brings is unique and deserves to be shared.
You are one of the best developers in the world. Seriously.
While I am not good in giving emotional advice, please be more positive.
And oh-my, don't think about suicide.
You might end up like Robin Williams.
You are a very important person and someone cares about you.
In this case, millions of people do care about you and your games.
The force of a million supporters are stronger than the number of bad people.
While we may not be as passionate in words as they are, we would love to support and help you.
We would love to see you with us, sharing happiness to each other.
I have always been a big fan and I am still one.
Pseudo, you can do it. You have a good future ahead, I assure you.

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Why you dont complete Beast signer, i mean its good but i dont like its discontuined, please complete it
Run Zefir Run

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Please accept my invite to friends on facebook and steam. Steam:mamaumin Facebook: Maksymilian Umiński.
chaos order

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Dear Pseudolonewolf,
I just made this account to say YOU ARE GREAT.
I played mardek way back in 2007 and i loved it. I looked forward to each subsequent chapter as though it were from a AAA publisher. With the limited resources you had and the the fact that you made all of it by yourself is amazing. The fact that you are self taught and you made a very fun, good looking, and and often humorous series of games is astounding.

The secret other reason i made this account and made this post is to say i undertsand how it feels to have social anxiety. I cant say that i have been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, probably because im too lazy too actually go see if i officially have it. What i can say is i know how it feels when people are critical of you. Of course I dont get anywhere near the degree of criticism you get because you put your art out around the world via the internet. but my nerves get wracked at the slightest missteps i take. every error i make, or i have perceived to have made irks me ever so. and i constantly go " Oh GOD everyone must hate me or thinks im an idiot." It crushes me ever so slightly every time. It builds and builds until i just turn off. i stop thinking or worse i begin to have intrusive thoughts about myself. I want to say i hope you dont let those feelings hinder you or the few bad eggs put in your mind that you cannot make great games or that you are not talented. I also hope i can put my own money where my mouth is and follow my own advice, maybe not the talented or games portion but i digress. I really hope i am not misinterpreting your condition or anything or even incorrectly pointed out what really bothers you in general, that would just be embarrassing. This is merely my personal interpretation of you based on my shallow knowledge of who you are only from this site and based on that i felt a sense of sympathy. You may never see or read this comment, and thats ok. The extra special secret reason i wrote this was to have a bit of a catharsis for myself. I've never done something like this and as i am writing this im starting to feel the anxiety build up of what you may think or what anyone else here may think. Also me misunderstanding you is also looming over the horizon, but i digress again.

I dearly wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors and i am impatiently waiting for mardek chapter 4.

a fan

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Can you broadcast or tell me at least when will you resume working for MARDEK 4? The MARDEK Trilogy is so good! I'm so eager to play Mardek 4. Thank you!

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As A β Pseudolonewolf has already explained in painstaking detail, the work on MARDEK 4 has already begun and is likely to be released around mid-September 2014.

The plot involves a plague that kills 99% of the population, including all of MARDEK's allies from MARDEK 3. MARDEK must make his way from home to home scavenging for scarce supplies and searching for any survivors. Once he has found a survivor, he challenges them to a game of cards to determine whether they are worthy of their survival. If the challenger manages to defeat MARDEK, MARDEK will allow the survivor to join his motorcycle gang. If the challenger loses or cheats, the survivor and MARDEK do battle, the survivor is inevitably slain although MARDEK is separated from his favorite nostril in one of the conflicts. Following a battle, MARDEK chops the victim's corpse into little bits and uses it as bait for the mutated fish that swim in the undrinkable infected water. He uses ROHOPH lazers to eradicate the bacteria from within the fish, then eats them. Over time, MARDEK becomes desparate and starts to murder his companions one by one, until the one remaining companion, who is miraculously DEUGAN, mutinizes and a final battle ensues in which MARDEK is cut open and ROHOPH emerges from his dismembered body. ROHOPH and DEUGAN, once face to face, are overcome by irascible lust for one another that not only destroys the both of them but results in an infant boy who must raise himself in the dead world, living off maggots and grass and grows to refer to himself as "MARDEK," poising the series for the sequel, "MARDEK 5: BREAKFAST FEAREAL" in which MARDEK invents the morning meal unknowing that it previously existed in a previously existent but unknown world and...

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Couldn't have said it better myself.

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anakin123 19 Belgium MelancholicPhlegmatic INFJ 459 282C
I would play that I would sooooo play that.
Nice story, really.
The Skull

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The Skull 23 United Kingdom CholericMelancholic INTJ 4w5 94C
I don't like the way you worded the bit about your favourite genres - Shooters and RTS games are not just games dedicated to slaughter. The fun isn't in the simulated killing, anymore than it is in fantasy games that also involve killing. Especially with RTS games - the fun is in the strategy, and with out-thinking your opponent, as with Chess!

Sorry, I felt I wanted to mention that because I love RTS games (and a few shooters) and the way it's worded implies insult.

Anyway, great list! You have most of my favourite old games on there, which is very nice. Croc especially, I love that game so much and it's so undervalued. Same with Monster Rancher - I just started with that not long ago after I started watching the show again (ah, nostalgia) and it's great fun.

If you don't mind I'm going to use this list as a list of games to play. Also, if you haven't tried it already, and if you still have your trusty SNES, might I recommend a game called Act Raiser? It's one of my favourites, an action based platformer with elements of simulation.

Thanks for sharing, Pseudo!
The Skull

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The Skull 23 United Kingdom CholericMelancholic INTJ 4w5 94C
And the ah, first part wasn't suppose to be critical or anything, just thought you might like to know.
david s

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david s 25 United States MelancholicCholeric ISFJ 621 1193C
Actually, it's interesting you should say that first part. Pseudo once in a blog post brought up the myers-briggs personality system, and he discussed avidly how different types might play the same game for different reasons. I recall he said something about intellectual types, like your type, preferring games for their world, plot and setting/physics. The gameplay, really.

Protector types like me always try to build up stats and supports. Pseudo saw this as confusing, but addressed that we tend to grind a lot, and actually enjoy it. Even in Battlefield 3, I tend to get kills on weapons so that I can get upgrades. The better I can get, the better it is.

Pseudo's type is more interested in the people and the plot of a game, specifically in the interactiveness of it.

Finally, I forget which type it was, but the fourth type likes the thrill of a game, and they're more likely to play for the fun of killing stuff.

Personally I think the description of my type really fits me on that. I think that I always play for the safest and most secure play style in any game. I tend to build up a defensive line in an RTS before deploying any troops or anything, and whenever possible I'll literally raze the entire area in front of me before moving in.(God do I ever love mobile artillery.) I don't like moving through a game haphazardly, but instead prefer absolute safety. When I do finish a game, I like to try to have the highest score or the most medals or whatever like that. So yeah... I wish I knew where that blog post was where Pseudo was talking about that. Of course, I'd probably find it if I actually... y'know... looked for it. :P

Anyway, I just wanted to say that and maybe discuss it with you or something, since it may be a topic of interest to you, since you seem to want to share a different perspective on these games than the conventional simplified thinking.
The Skull

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The Skull 23 United Kingdom CholericMelancholic INTJ 4w5 94C
See, that makes a lot of sense, which is why it annoyed me that the statement was worded the way it is, since it kind of misses the point of the game itself and generalises the people that enjoy them in a negative light...

That is actually pretty accurate of me. I do indeed enjoy many games for their plot, world and setting/physics. For example I am a big fan of the Souls games. The reason for this is not only the way the story is told (which I love) and the world (which is fantastic) but in the gameplay. It's very skill-based and challenging, and if you die it's always your own fault - you mistimed a roll, you missed a parry, you backed yourself into a corner, you decided to use a swinging weapon in a tight space. That kind of thing, it's very enjoyable for me.

Although I don't think with these types people can be generalised all the time. I think most of what you said applies to me, to be honest, and I play different games to satisfy my different needs. For me, when it comes to games, movies and books the characters are often also a huge factor.

We seem to have a similar approach to RTS games as well! From the sounds of things I might take a few more risks, but my first focus in an RTS is to build up a strong defensive position. If I get rushed I can adapt quickly to fend off the attack in almost all cases but if I'm allowed to go at my own pace I'll end up with very few units and a very strong defensive line before I get around to my army. The reason I love RTS games is because of the thought and the strategy involved. Obviously that doesn't apply to everybody (in Halo Wars for example I play a lot of rushers who have clearly just youtubed a strategy and so they immediately quit the game once their rush fails). I have a buddy that I play my RTS games with which is what makes them really fun for me, though. Our gameplay styles compliment each others perfectly. I might be rambling a bit here but I rarely get to talk about RTS games.

We seem to differ when it comes to grinding though =P For BF3 I tend to find a few guns I like and stick to them. I have a friend who actually annoys me with that, he won't play Halo with me anymore (even though he's barely unlocked anything) because he can unlock stuff faster on CoD.

Do you do the same with RPGs, grinding I mean? I usually prefer the challenge of being under-leveled in RPGs so I try to grind as little as possible.
david s

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david s 25 United States MelancholicCholeric ISFJ 621 1193C
Let's put it this way for grinding... I intend to finish my current run of MARDEK 3 with everyone at level 100 and with all skills learned and 10,000,000 GGC at least.

I grind enough to buy most of the finer equipment, though I will rush a little more early in a game until I unlock the more freestyle parts.(For example, I'll only buy the silver rings and gauntlets in M2 before the fight with Muriance, rather than the gold rings. I'll also avoid buying the swords, since you can find them elsewhere.) I tend to grind a lot more than needed at the end of a game.(Grinding up to level 9 in MARDEK 1 was not as much fun as I would have liked...)

In BF3 even I have a favourite, but I've still ensured that I made at least one kill with every weapon*, and I don't even have premium.(*Despite almost always being a medic, I can't seem to manage a defib kill... Then again, I tend to avoid hardcore mode.) I like the knife a lot, but by far my favourite weapons are the ones with the highest rates of fire. I'm pretty good on the MP7. 23 service stars, I think... But I haven't played in months, so that's probably not as good as it used to be compared to what everyone else does.

Seriously, I take defense to a whole new level in RTS games. In Blitzkrieg 2, my favourite battle style was to get my armour to the front, secure a warehouse, dig my armour in, get a supply line with armoured units protecting it, get my supply trucks to carry the supplies to my mobile artillery, get my repair vehicles to repair every tank, gun or building in my area of control, even the ones I wasn't using, then I'd have my artillery till the soil in front of my lines so that where once stood stone, now lies fine fertile soil, albeit with shell fragments every millimeter. ;) Then once I'm rather sure it's safe, I'll slowly advance either infantry with an officer constantly scouting out, or a sniper. Y'know, recon for specific artillery targets. I'll often send them with a heavy tank escort to recon the enemy forces. If any remain, and especially if they attack, the scouts pull back, the tanks hold them off, or kills them if possible, and the artillery finishes them off. Then once I do this, I order all my tanks to move up several feet, then stop. If I have no officers with binoculars to give me sight range, nor any snipers, then I'll just creep my defensive lines forward, one tank move up, dig back in, next tank move up to be next to it, dig in. Enemy spotted? Hold it off while artillery comes in.

I truly dread the battles where I have no artillery or no warehouses or... Dear god no... Those... Battles without supply trucks. ._. Because apparently soldiers can't figure out how to get their own ammo out of a warehouse. In those, you really have to be conservative with your ammo.(You have no idea how often I've had to call in reinforcements just because the tanks I have became useless by running out of ammunition.)

If I get the time and resources to get tonnes of units, I'll build beautiful defenses around my central fort, if you will. I defend it on all sides with anti-tank guns and tanks and infantry, dig trenches and everything. What's more is that I'll set up defenses even if they're facing the edge of the map, and the enemy can't possibly come from there. I just like to make it look official.
The Skull

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The Skull 23 United Kingdom CholericMelancholic INTJ 4w5 94C
Haha, wow, I don't think I'd have the patience for that. I tend to keep my characters low-level for the challenge! Although, that's not always the case. In several of the Final Fantasy games I got all my characters to 99 (except Final Fantasy VI - only Shadow was allowed to be level 99).

I don't have a defib kill either! I wasn't actually sure if you could get them in BF3. I favour Medic too, for the most part. The M249 SAW is my weapon of choice =P But I don't play a huge amount. I don't have premium, either. I swear everybody online now has premium.

I've never actually played Blitzkrieg 2. Your description has peaked my interest though, I think I need to look into that!

I like to do the same on RTS games, though. If there's freedom to place buildings and such I always like to make it look nice and proper. It *actually* annoys me not to have my setup looking real.

david s

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david s 25 United States MelancholicCholeric ISFJ 621 1193C
Y'know, I never really liked the M249 too much, either in the game or in real life. I vastly prefer the M240 Bravo, both in game and in real life.(It's more powerful in both, and more reliable and more accurate in the real world.) I've come to the conclusion that I do best with things that have really high rates of fire in most games. The higher the rate of fire, the better I do. That being said, I also do great when I can fill a role other people can't.

A prime example is that in BF3 I'll often be on a map that doesn't allow sniper rifles. This basically means everyone is charging rather than defending, and using CQB type weapons. In that case my normal cavalry charge style of fighting, involving the MP7, doesn't shine as much as it could. So instead I end up getting into whichever class I want other than Recon, most often I end up Medic, I'll get my DM weapon for that class(DM=Designated Marksman.) and I'll fill the role of the Designated Marksman, using something that does the same thing as a sniper rifle, but without the sniper rifle! In Engineer kit(Most useless kit ever.) I use the FN SCAR-H, the 6x scope, heavy barrel and bipod. In support I use the M27 IAR, 6x scope, heavy barrel and bipod. Same accessories in the "Assault"(Medic) kit, but with the HK G3. I'll usually put those in semi-auto or I'll fire in controlled bursts when I'm "sniping". I really don't like the feel of the Russian scopes, so I end up using the US ones. For the record, I did the "mastering" thing on the G3, the M27 and several other weapons, mostly the assault rifles.(Actually, the only non-premium assault rifles that I don't have at least 500 kills on are the AN-94 and the KH2002. I really don't like burst fire because I often need fully auto. That being said, it's different for pistols.)

For the longest time I despised the DAO-12 Streetsweeper(Shotgun) but then one time, when I was trying to get kills on it, I had the interesting situation of running into a lot more enemies than I expected. I had 12 shots in it, I was fighting in the crates in a TDM on Kharg Island, a bunch of enemy medics were pushing through, along with a support guy or two. I didn't have any backup, and we were going to be flanked if we lost that side and it was just me and my shotgun there. In less than 10 seconds I was attacked by just as many enemies, and I don't think I was even injured! The rate of fire sucks, the spread is way too much for any accuracy, the range is short but... in close quarters, the damage and ability to take on multiple targets make the DAO-12 the king of CQB.(The MP7 is the queen. Equal in ability, but used in a different way.) Still, as shotguns go, I love the Remington 870.(In real life and in the game.)

Anyway, I'm sorry to ramble there... I'm a big gun-nut and BF3 kinda helped satisfy me on that aspect.

Oh! In terms of realism, that's something else that's big and important to me. I hate how there are all these games, hundreds, nay thousands of them where one thing is missing virtually all the time: Bathrooms! In real life, virtually every building, at least in the developed world, has at least one bathroom in it. I hate how so many games lack bathrooms. In BF3 and BFBC:2 there were some, though in the case of BFBC:2 they only had Turkish Toilets.(Literally a hole in the floor with boards on the side.) When I customize maps in games, I'd always put a bathroom in every applicable building. Also, I'd put kitchens on military bases and sleeping quarters wherever they belonged.

Blitzkrieg 2 had a pretty good map editor. You could do a lot with it, but it was PAINFULLY COMPLICATED. It took me forever to figure out how to make enemy units and friendly units, but I still don't know how to set objectives and winning conditions.(Though I did figure out how to set up AI allies.)

The one thing about making a realistic setting that I really dislike is making towns. I quickly find that there are too few types of buildings to use, so you end up making everything repeatedly all over the place and it feels really stupid. Still, I guess I can manage it eventually.