Personality & Feelings

Your Saddest Moments
david s
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david s 25 United States MelancholicCholeric ISFJ 621 1193C
Hey guys, it's been a while since we've had a post, eh?

I'm making a post right now about sad things. In particular, I'd like to ask you guys what the saddest moments were in your life.

Sadness is very unique among emotions. Personally it's my favourite emotion. It's not that I like to experience it, but I think it's the most beautiful emotion on the planet. Everyone knows it sucks to be sad, and sadness is never comfortable, but what does sadness mean? When I thought about this, I realized that the only thing in the world that makes you sad is when something bad happens to something you care about.

In other words, *sadness is proof that you care*. It can be selfish, like you feel sad that you got dumped, or it can be selfless, like if you're sad that a friend's parent died. Whatever may happen, though, sadness is proof that you care. Sadness is proof of your humanity, and of your soul, so to speak.

That's why I don't really enjoy it when people try to make fun of sadness, or to say that sadness is weak. Sadness is beautiful and strong, because sadness is the proof that you care for something, and proof that you can experience love. Sadness is like a somber poem. But in my culture, it's frowned upon for a person, especially a man, to be sad, and especially to cry. I'm sure it's the same in the cultures of many of you, but I think this idea is so wrong! How is love or caring pathetic or weak? Love is literally the strength that brings humanity together, that lets us grow! I would like to see my society change these views on sadness, so we can learn to grow again, and learn to care about one another.

Anyway, so far I've just been discussing sadness. I have yet to post my own experiences, or to let you post yours.

The trigger for me writing this post at this moment is that the other day my one pug had a litter of puppies: 6 of them. However, this morning one of those puppies had gotten too far from the heating pad we use for them, and as a result the puppy died. Just a few minutes ago I had to bury the puppy.

This isn't the first time we've had a puppy that's died. When you've had over 70 puppies in your lifetime, many are bound to die. This isn't even the first time I've had to bury a puppy, a couple years ago I buried a little tiny black puppy with a white paw. It's not a new experience, not by a long shot...

But it still hurts.

It always hurts. You never get past the sadness of burying a little tiny puppy. It's kinda hard to think of sadder things, but even so, it's not the saddest thing I've ever experienced.

The world is a sad place. I've come to grips with that.

Anyway! On to other sad stuff, [sarcasm]YAY![/sarcasm]

Saddest moment: When I found out my oldest brother killed himself.

Second Saddest: When we had to put down one of my pugs because he was incurably sick, and literally losing parts of internal organs.

Third: Tie between the two puppies I've had to bury.

So yeah... after that, watching Clannad: Afterstory was pretty sad. I have too much emotional connection to fictional characters, so it really f***ed me up.

Now it's your turn to divulge your sadness to me and everyone else here, all... virtually none of us. If you talk about it, it'll help you accept things, I know that sounds crazy but it's true. This section of the forum is for emotional venting, after all.
Deathscout
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I guess this is necro, but what the hell, I don't think that the two or three people still here will mind over much.

I don't tend to feel emotion when I remember things that happen in my life. I'm disconnected, more or less, from myself. I can feel fresh emotion, and I crave it sometimes, as the world tends to feel gray otherwise. But there's always one memory that can make me hurt when I think about it.

I got depressed in middle school (7 or 8 years ago now). I never told my parents, I still haven't, though I'm meaning to bring it up pretty soon. It made staying motivated so difficult. I always thought that I couldn't be good enough when I tried, so why bother. My grades slipped and I went from accelerated classes to normal ed. Parents were disappointed. Sophomore year was when I was the worst.

I don't even remember what led to the argument, probably me being a lazy little poop, but I was arguing with my dad. And what ended the argument killed me inside. My dad told me that sometimes he wondered where they went wrong with me.

He never elaborated, never returned to that. I've certainly never brought it up. But for someone that already thinks they're messed up, being told, by someone that supposedly loves and nurtures you, that you're messed up is just awful. It gives the depression a voice when I get down.

I guess the second saddest after that is when I come back to places that used to be communities. This place is one of them. It's not the same as the other thing, but seeing places that I used to have friends, that used to be alive dead is weird in a tragic way. A part of me always wants to try and bring life to them, but I realize that it'll never be the same. The me that was a part of that society isn't around anymore, and the same can be said for everyone that was there. And even if I could get the same people to come back, it wouldn't matter. The bonds between us have broken, and they can't ever be brought back.

After that, like you david, is from fiction. I watch Bojack for the pain that it brings, and it doesn't fail to deliver. I actually had to stop watching for a bit at the end of last season because it got too real for me. Plenty of books too, notably the first series I read written by Robin Hobb.

Sorry for the long post, I feel ranty. And it's too late to be awake, but I've not been able to sleep the last few nights.
Huh. Didn't even notice I was swearing. Don't remember the swear filter either. Cleaned it up regardless.
david s
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david s 25 United States MelancholicCholeric ISFJ 621 1193C
Man, I can imagine how you felt. Honestly my parents actually said that sort of thing to me a lot, but they always apologized for it later, and we'd be closer for it. However, if that's something you're not used to, and you hear it while you're depressed, then I can imagine how devastating it must have been.

I really think you should talk to your parents about it as soon as you can, though. This is the sort of thing that's good for you to talk about. My dad works in psychological therapy, and he always recommends talking about anything that bothers you. Even if you end up saying the same thing, just talking about something that causes you pain helps a lot. Even if you're talking to someone who won't listen, it still helps, but someone who listens helps even more.

People can't understand eachother unless they communicate, though. I really do hope you get a chance to talk this over with your parents soon.
Deathscout
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Yeah. I've been trying to work up to it. It's difficult. Last two years have been spent at college and an internship. Taking time off to improve mental health and earn some money so I don't graduate with truly scary debt.

Thanks, I appreciate the response.
david s
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david s 25 United States MelancholicCholeric ISFJ 621 1193C
No problem, man. Just remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here every couple of days at the very least, so you can talk to me about whatever. Best of luck finding the right moment. :)