Clarence's Big Chance

A silly game where you play as a 35-year-old ugly man who has to prepare for the first date in his life by jumping around on platforms and collecting items and so on.

Screenshots

on 8 Roots

13 Comments

Abbx
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Abbx 21 Pakistan SanguineMelancholic ENFJ 3w4 573C
Oh, how I've missed playing CBC.

Sometimes you just want to get away from it all inside the internet and it is exactly what laid-back, casual, mildly challenging, yet orgasmic entertaining games like Clarence's Big Chance help me do.
Megabdi
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Hrom, Pseudo! I've come up with a list of improvements for Clarence if you ever consider to work on a sequel!

-Make Clarence grow a beard, that'll surely shorten the amount of mail that accuses you of copying Mario if he were obese and has bad romance skills...Wait, did I just do a exact description of Mario? Perhaps to be doubly safe, make sure any new enemies aren't gangster dinosaurs, fire-breathing turkeys or flying naked cats. Just to be safe.

-Perhaps make other characters to play as. Here are some Suggestions: His girlfriend (if you failed in getting dat gal then go for the long lost brother called Roger McInsernam), his pet dog, his pet chinchillas, his local clinic employees and his delivery boy.
I'm sure their names will churn out their own abilities.

-POWERUPS!?!11 Just to make your game more appealing at the cost of some realism (what's so realistic about fat men with mansions for hovels, goes my mind), perhaps include some illegal drugs for ironic humor!!1one11badhumor!!1 And perhaps some lovely takeout options for health restoration. Eating hearts is no doubt cannibalistic and it'll surely attract fanboys of Link who say 'HEARTZ R MAJICKAL!1!' and some other insulting assumptions.

-Perhaps include some more useless collectibles, not limited to: Shaving Cream, Very Filthy Beano and perhaps Acne Cream, maybe even a Useless Plastic Moustache.

-Make the plot revolve around Clarence losing weight, with or without a girlfriend.
I'm sure that will be a good substitute for a plot about a fat man jumping on androids of his frying pan mother (Sizzleus Platues-MotheusIntricatus) and his bartender father (FermentwheatusGivus-FatheusBaldus).

-CAMEOS!!!1221!!l1
List of suggested cameos: Mardek, Deugan, !!  Megabdi, β Mania, M β Sunflower, Samuel Jackson, !!  Alberto and Chamelebrother.

-Make Clarence's lies and deceit true fact. Actually, that shouldn't be that much of a problem since his father is 1100 years old (obscure DW reference there, y'all) and has the athleticism of Spider Man if he were obese.

These improvements have come from some of the smartest minds in gaming (Me and the people that live in my head, and one of them looks like you!) and I propose you heed these improvements, for if you do not, I shall be sure to cancel my subscription to FilthyMoustachePorn.gov and blame you for it. Good day.
JoeyRock
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Pseudo... Your unique way of thinking up a brilliant game never ceases to amaze me... I have worked with Adobe Flash and made different ActionScripts myself and understand how difficult and time consuming creating a game is. The best I could do was make a terrible replicare of Pacman. Going back to my earlier statement... The unique taste of this game really surprised me... I had only been familiar with your previous RPGs and thought to myself... "Pseudo made a platformer? It can't be anything too special..."

I couldn't have possibly been more incorrect.

In this platformer... You (Clarence, aka MrStudMuffin69) are a 35 year old virgin, preparing for your first date... EVER! You struggle to find your pants, search desperately for your house keys that you left in the living room, along with a couple hundred of your abusive mothers and fathers. Make your way through town, avoiding corrupt police, and some extremely old, but equally as deadly women. At the office, you spend the day doing all the dirty work of your boss, apologising to abused employees and driving your car through walls. Finally, you make your way to your date. Getting laid or not is totally up to how dedicated you are to the game.

Pseudo's quick, witty humour keeps me addicted, I cannot take my eyes off the screen. His beautifully composed 'retro' style soundtracks really make the game. And just like in every other masterpiece he has created, the detail and effort behind it all is astounding... The transcripts fit each character perfectly and are written with a lot of thought. Truly a one-of-a-kind platformer...

You make the game come alive when I play it... Not many games have that capability... I will surly share this with my children one day.

Brilliant... Absolutely brilliant. 8.7/10
david s
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david s 24 United States MelancholicCholeric ISFJ 621 1192C
Heh... I'm glad Pseudo made something even less serious than other games. I think that's the reason I like Pseudo's games though. Sometimes I just need a break from life, from everything being so serious, and Pseudo's games do just that for me. This is a great game, it really is. It's quite fun and silly, and it's really remarkable how it satirizes other games.

The music is amazing in and of itself! The main theme is one of the few pieces that Pseudo made that I can whistle to, and I often find myself doing so. It's so much fun!

I love this game quite a lot, and I must say that Pseudo did a good job with it. While I can't say it's my favourite game, it certainly holds a rather unique place on my list of games I like.
Anhelm
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Anhelm 21 Czech Republic MelancholicPhlegmatic INFJ 451 86C
It's a masterpiece. Honestly. It combines great music and awesome humour without insulting player's intelligence. I so appriciate it.
Finn
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Hey, how come when I try and play on it on this site, it doesn't work, and it just keeps making the sound of Clarence jumping!?
matija51
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Yea, same here... It just plays the jump sound and doesn't load.
Finn
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Yea, I hope they fix it soon. Maybe its just because it hasn't been fully loaded onto the new site!
Finn
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Well, at least it doesn't make the noise any more.
SketchSlayer
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SketchSlayer 22 New Zealand MelancholicPhlegmatic INTP 5w6 21C
hmm it's making the jumping noise for me :/, well at an extremely fast pace so it sounds nothing like jumping but it is the jump noise
Zirconium_Corp
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When I try to play it in fighunter I too have the jump sound + the actual music. Also when I try to play it in kongragate it often mess up my internet connection... I still can play the game because it's loaded, but then my connection is dead and I have to turn off-on the router to get it back -.-'
Finn
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I played tis on the old site, and it was ace! I loved how there were so many endings! I know it hasn't changed since then, but it will be nice to play it on the new one.
Grenburr
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FIRST!!111one!!11
Probably of the best platformers ever, it kinda reminded me of Mario and Commander Keen.