I forgot my password!
Game: Clarence's Big Chance
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5 years ago
Hrom, Pseudo! I've come up with a list of improvements for Clarence if you ever consider to work on a sequel!
-Make Clarence grow a beard, that'll surely shorten the amount of mail that accuses you of copying Mario if he were obese and has bad romance skills...Wait, did I just do a exact description of Mario? Perhaps to be doubly safe, make sure any new enemies aren't gangster dinosaurs, fire-breathing turkeys or flying naked cats. Just to be safe.
-Perhaps make other characters to play as. Here are some Suggestions: His girlfriend (if you failed in getting dat gal then go for the long lost brother called Roger McInsernam), his pet dog, his pet chinchillas, his local clinic employees and his delivery boy.
I'm sure their names will churn out their own abilities.
-POWERUPS!?!11 Just to make your game more appealing at the cost of some realism (what's so realistic about fat men with mansions for hovels, goes my mind), perhaps include some illegal drugs for ironic humor!!1one11badhumor!!1 And perhaps some lovely takeout options for health restoration. Eating hearts is no doubt cannibalistic and it'll surely attract fanboys of Link who say 'HEARTZ R MAJICKAL!1!' and some other insulting assumptions.
-Perhaps include some more useless collectibles, not limited to: Shaving Cream, Very Filthy Beano and perhaps Acne Cream, maybe even a Useless Plastic Moustache.
-Make the plot revolve around Clarence losing weight, with or without a girlfriend.
I'm sure that will be a good substitute for a plot about a fat man jumping on androids of his frying pan mother (Sizzleus Platues-MotheusIntricatus) and his bartender father (FermentwheatusGivus-FatheusBaldus).
List of suggested cameos: Mardek, Deugan,
, Samuel Jackson,
-Make Clarence's lies and deceit true fact. Actually, that shouldn't be that much of a problem since his father is 1100 years old (obscure DW reference there, y'all) and has the athleticism of Spider Man if he were obese.
These improvements have come from some of the smartest minds in gaming (Me and the people that live in my head, and one of them looks like you!) and I propose you heed these improvements, for if you do not, I shall be sure to cancel my subscription to FilthyMoustachePorn.gov and blame you for it. Good day.