Comment #38624

Blog: Weekly Update!!1
Brock
3

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Pseudo, I wish I could be there to help you... I've never felt so upset with a few members of this community before, probably due to my old stance on life that 'everyone is born good, it is how things go along and how their experiences happen that can change them'. I realized upon reading your post though, that you've gone through a lot, and I feel I understand you better than before... I've always had you in a positive light, and when I hear that you considered suicide, I realized that you're really pushing yourself a lot. You COULD take a break, but that'd be a suggestion from me and you wouldn't like that...
In truth, I used to think most of the world hated me. I had demons in my head, telling me I was dumb and crazy, unfit to live. For two years, I dealt with that, trying to push the demons back. I believe I even cut myself numerous times, but I quickly realized that pain didn't block out sadness, and it didn't distract me either. It just made me cry and more upset. While I can't really compare to your problems, I know, I can at least try to understand them.
As for the rest of your post, all I can say is that it's excellent that you can talk about your feelings to people you scarcely know. Many, many people struggle with that and fail to understand it.
I'm sure you already knew this, but the people who don't understand you truly never will until they go through something similar, whether it be depression or otherwise. For example, my brother doesn't understand when I randomly break down over menial things or cry when we're having a serious conversation, and I believe he never will unless he goes through it himself. Showing is knowing, correct?

All in all, I sincerely hope you feel better! I'm always rooting or you!