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Pseudolonewolf
5 years ago

I'm so mature!!

◊ Posted by A β Pseudolonewolf
Categories: PersonalQuestions
Miasmon beta testing is coming along fine, though there's a whole lot left to do. It'll probably take weeks to get through all the work that needs doing, since there's more to it than just bug fixing.

I want to talk about something completely unrelated in this post, though.

I have been running this site since 2004, and in that time, I've come across many, many teenagers, particularly male ones, and have noticed trends in their behaviour.
One very common thing that I see is the need for teenagers to prove how 'mature' they are.
Is that word even really used by anyone other than children and teenagers? Perhaps only rarely, while it seems to be an everyday thought for younglings, who seem determined to prove that they're wise beyond their years, that they're on the same level as people many years older than them. It is an arrogant thought.

In my own experience, it takes years of growing to realise how naive this belief is... and how petty. I'm 24 now, which is by no means old, but I've certainly stopped enjoying getting older (though I don't remember ever enjoying it; I was never one of the ones who craved to be an adult, and even now I can't or don't do a lot of the typical Adult Stuff like driving or drinking).
I've no desire to be seen as 'mature'... but during my teenage years, I, like many, probably did think I was wiser than my peers. Perhaps it's just a natural phase.

If you're a teenager and you're reading this, chances are high that you think you are indeed very mature, and wise, and clever beyond your years. It'd be more surprising if you didn't think that.

If you've grown beyond your teenage years, however, I want to ask you... Do you recall going through that stage yourself? Do you feel you've grown out of the need to prove how 'mature' you are now? How does it make you feel to look back on that, and how do you feel about teenagers who openly go on about how 'mature' they are, especially when they claim they're as wise as people a decade their senior, or when they go on about how many older friends they have or how they prefer talking to the older teenagers and adults because everyone their own age is beneath them?
93 Comments

on 87 Roots

93 Comments

ikiimoni
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ikiimoni 18 United States SanguineCholeric ENFP 6w5 33C
The hardest part for me to cope with this comment is the fact that I have no idea where to begin. I assume I fit the mold of arrogant and bull-headed, but other people tell me that I'm so great it only magnifies this being in my mind. A large part of Pseudo's comments are the fact that they are too philisophical to let me cope with. I joined the site at 11, when Raider 2 was new(ish), and Mardek 3 was like Miasmon then. Everything about this comment acts like a shape that I would fit in, and it's something I've thought about before.
Kentaro411
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I like the input of others rather than my own, they should know the type of person I am. The only reason I write like this is from discipline and not maturity, especially since you like to see me act my age. In real life I am a very annoying guy but I like to be friends with a large group of people. I may be viewed as a child but that's a measurement of how wise I am, that means that pseudo is wiser that me but nothing can stop me from being smarter that him. I'm not smarter that him though and its going to take decades to happen.
LUPO
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Yes, i am going through that phase now, but im not in any hurry to grow up, because i know life will just be harder for me then, so i just try to enjoy it while i can because later i wont have my parents' support and will be forced to be on my own, so i try to make it last while it does, no one should be in any hurry to grow up, particulary because of my reason, am i correct?
Wiz
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I did go through the same phase and in retrospect it looks like most people do. I wouldn't be surprised if this was some sort of psychological necessity.
Not that I ever claimed to be "wise beyond my years"; I simply preferred the company of those who were a few years older than me.
In fact I thought (and I still think) that I was less "wise" or "mature" than average, albeit more intelligent.
Tyli
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I hate to break it to you, but I honestly don't like to be lectured; especially on a site that leans towards gaming.
Yes, okay, I totally understand what you're getting at, but that doesn't change the fact it feels like you're trying to lecture all of us. You're a game developer; you're not my father.
Just my personal two cents. /totally betting this is gonna get negative FLIGS
bloodstare
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bloodstare 24 United States PhlegmaticCholeric INTP 5w6 51C
Although i'm not quite out my teenage years I feels as if i have moved beyond this stage. At 15-16 I did think I was some amazing idol of maturity but now I realize that I wasn't. At all. I was just like everyone but i'm still glad that I went through that stage so that now I can look back and laugh at myself.
skarn
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I don't really feel like I've changed that much, to be honest. It's just a matter of perspective, because a person can define 'maturity' in many ways.

Years ago, I did feel that I was more mature than many of the people around me. I still feel that way. I don't think it's arrogance; I had my reasons. I do think I have become more mature since then, but my perspective of those people hasn't changed.

Personally, I think it's naïve to believe that maturity is something that's static, and just increases linearly as you grow older. It's similarly naïve to think that someone who is older will also automatically be more mature, in general or at any given moment.

In my opinion, if the 'need' you described exists, it stems from that fact that adults refuse to acknowledge those they see as too young to be mature. I have gotten in an argument with an adult about 20 years my superior, which basically ended with them saying "You're just a kid." It's an Ad Hominem argument used in place of actual logic, and I doubt anyone would consider me to be the less mature one. I was 18 at the time, by the way.
Avereth
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In truth I didn't really go through that stage myself. But I think anyone who feels the need to proclaim their maturity and try to tout it as a status symbol or wishes they were older is just naive. Myself, I enjoyed being young! I didn't need to have a job, school was easy enough I never needed to study, and I had lots of free time to visit my friends. It should be noted, however, that maturity means different things to different people. I don't believe maturity necessarily has much to do with older age providing more wisdom, though I will not argue the undeniable fact that more knowledge increases one's likelihood of making a better decision at times. I am a proponent of maturity being a state of mind more so than an accumulation of knowledge. By about the age of 16 my mind had pretty much developed to the way it is now in terms of having a very logical view of the world kept untainted by emotional bias. That 16 year old me would probably have been able to come to the same conclusions I would now given the same set of information regarding a moral issue. Does that mean he should have been allowed to drive a car already, or work a full time job, or take on other adult responsibilities. Not necessarily , since at that age my priorities were not yet on such things. I started feeling awkward playing a lot of kid's games and watching a lot of kid's shows while most others my age still engaged in them, and it was because it just seemed to feel like I was too old to be doing such things, or the plot of the show was just too childish. In a sense I mentally grew out of them on my own ahead of others.

I must admit though, it always rankled my nerves how my Grandmother always refused to refer to me as an adult. It was not because I felt a need to be referred to as an adult, but because she implied I was incapable of enacting the proper manners at the table based solely on the belief I was simply too young. My manners were as good as theirs and I could have even set the table properly myself, but both myself and my brother were always relegated to the 'children's' table even by the time we were 18.

I also have noted that in the workplace of the place I used to work, the management gave preference for promotion to older employees age wise than younger ones, even if the younger ones had been there longer or performed the job better. That too bothered me. In that case it was simply unsaid that you weren't an old enough adult yet. They saw you as still being the same late highschooler you started out as a few years ago.
Colev
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I personally likened maturity to independence at some points, and to refinement at others.

I took pride in being able to make money that didn't come directly from my parents, and in scheduling my time effectively when I was a bit younger. It was a feeling of accomplishment that I could only associate with "maturing". I also began to use more "adult" language (not the coarse kind) so that I could reinforce that feeling, though I took care not to use it around most of my friends and acquaintances - usually - out of fear of being teased. If my memory serves, it was my way of proving that I was capable of "acting my age".

There may have been a few times when I felt I deserved respect merely because I was growing older, but I believe nearly everyone deals with the experience of aging in that way, to some extent. It's likely a natural tendency in most people, and, ironically, one that people often grow out of.
tomechard
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I don't feel the desire to prove how mature I am. Even if I tried to convince people, they'd fight about. That's the sign of a moron. They don't discuss anything reasonably. They only want to fight. And that's why the American government is failing. Because it's full of people who think everything should come to them without work. They feel they're entitled. And they'll fught to the death over that idea. They just won't state their thoughts and feelings rationally.